Search - Florence Foster Jenkins :: The Glory (????) of the Human Voice

INSANELY FUNNY

Cathy Lynch | Knoxville, TN USA | 02/19/2009

(5 out of 5 stars)

"The Glory (????) of the Human Voice

For all of us for whom exquisitely bad songing is an absolute delight (You know who you are: your parents frequently thumped you on the head in church), this is the Holy Grail of wretched singing. Mrs Florence Foster Jenkins remains unparalleled to this day, and built a career of butchering classics while wearing ridiculous homemade costumes to thrill her large following.



If you are NOT a lifelong devotee of abysmal singing, DO NOT buy this CD. It will only confuse you, and you'll get angry and disgusted with us deviant music lovers.



Now a word to the wise before listening:

First of all, make sure you slip into a pair of adult diapers, because you'll need them, and either listen to this CD alone or with someone who doesn't mind your snorting, snuffling and crying. These are all classical pieces, and you may even be able to pick out a bit of recognizable melody here and there, but most often not. The recordings are old, and have all the clicks, scratches and surface noise you'd expect. But go ahead and ratchet up the sound, because you don't want to miss a single false start, misplaced gasp for breath, or loose denture clatter.

There are two other singers used to great effect on this gem, a tenor whose musical training apparently consisted of "Sing really HARD, Tommy!! No, HAAARDER!!", and a soprano who seems like the second coming of Beverly Sills compared to the others. You can tell she actually knows where the notes are, but never can quite get there with them. In their defense, their enunciation is 90% better than FFJ's. However, their duet is a masterpiece of bad timing and sour notes, and you find yourself marveling at the accompanist, who manages to stay with them and play quite creditably.

All the tracks satisfy, but my personal favorite is "Adele"s Laughing Song," in which FFJ sounds like nothing so much as a pack of Jack Russell Terriers having a BAD trip on LSD. Some of her notes do not sound remotely human. Her labored coloratura trills and glissandos send chills coursing through your body like electric charges, and not, of course, in a good way.

I've shared my CD with my daughter, who lives in another state, ONLY because I know she'll appreciate it fully and return it to me unscathed. Anyone else would have to dry my tears, tug the grin off my face, and pry it from my cold, dead hands.

"