Krondes Disease - Catch It!
Ricky Rocket | Pennsylvania | 01/30/2006
(1 out of 5 stars)
"First off, when I saw the name John Krondes, I thought maybe it was the name of some disease that this guy has. Since I am a hypochondriac, I believe I have now Krondes disease. Anyway, someone must be telling this guy that he's good. He's not. Not even close. Yeah, I know, you can say the Ashley Simpsons and Britney Spears of the world can't sing as well. But seriously, this is bloody awful. I can go into the poor lyrics, the terrible music, or I can point out that this guy has more hair on his body than Robin Williams. Seriously, there is back and shoulder hair in his head shot on the CD!
John, buy some Nair, or get a friend who can keep a secret to wax you down so you can walk among the rest of the humans in our civilization. Or, stop wearing muscle shirts in your head shot! You do not look like a young Nicholas Cage. You look like a hairy gorilla fresh out of the jungle. I have to assume someone plucked you from the rainforest, shaved you down and taught you how to sing. Trouble is, they did a pretty bad job of both. But I digress...
Owning this CD will make you instantly a tool for the devil. How did I get my copy? It was free, and it came in the mail. I now dislike my mailman. It now serves as a way for my table not getting coffee stains on it. All that studio time, all the energy spent recording, mixing, pressing the CD... wasted! Someone must've told this guy he had a good singing voice, just to give him a boost of self-confidence. Problem is, he REALLY ran with that comment and decided to get a band together and book studio time in New York. I hope he has a lot of money. He'll need it.
John, one more thing. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I don't want to flip on Headlines News only to read on the crawl that you killed yourself while trying to shave your back hair with a straight razor. Just don't sing. Go back to doing what you did before like fixing porches, or looking like Elvis. That's a noble profession that will bring in a decent wage, instead of being ripped apart by guys like me because you're trying to write a song that's reminiscent of "High Enough" by Damn Yankees. Chin up, and God bless!"
Track Listings (2) - Disc #1