Amazon.comJulian Schnabel is the successor to Andy Warhol as a Manhattan painter turned celebrity, and he has used that media clout to secure a recording contract even though he has no discernible talent for making music. He could be described as a cross between Michael Bolton and Leonard Cohen, but unfortunately he writes songs like Bolton and sings like Cohen instead of the other way around. The combination of his treacly sentiment, pretentious poesy, tuneless croaking, and minimalist melodies is comic for a short time but soon turns annoying. Typical of the album is "I Tried," which finds a self-pitying Schnabel nasally whining over folk-rock guitars: "I know I drive you crazy with all the love that I have, but if you remember, there was some good times." Schnabel's debut recording actually boasts terrific backing tracks, thanks to the all-star band assembled by his co-producer and bassist Bill Laswell. Funkadelic keyboardist Bernie Worrell, Golden Palomino drummer Anton Fier, and jazz arranger Henry Threadgill create a glittering frame for Schnabel's musical canvas, but the songs themselves belong in the bottom of a bird cage. --Geoffrey Himes