Search - Tony Goldmark :: You Bug Me! (songs guaranteed to annoy your parents)

Real music for kids, by a real kid! Liner notes by Dave Barry: I have always prided myself on my ability to recognize young musical talent. For example, back during the late 1960s, I happened to be in a bar in Boston, and I took note of a young man who was playing the guitar and singing. And do you know who that young man was? I don't, either. But I'm confident he never became famous, because he had virtually no talent. My point is that I recognized this immediately. I will tell you the name of a young man who DOES have talent: Tony Goldmark. Tony's musical gift is no surprise, considering his lineage. His dad, Joe Goldmark, is not only a terrific pedal-steel guitarist, but also a world-class pizza chef. His mom, Kathi Kamen Goldmark, is a singer-songwriter-producer who founded the literary rock band, the Rock Bottom Remainders. I'm proud to be a member of this band, along with Kathi, Stephen King, Roy Blount Jr., Ridley Pearson, Amy Tan, Matt Groening and others. As a band, we suck. But this is not Kathi's fault. SHE has talent, not to mention literally dozens of wigs. And she has clearly passed her gift along to her son, Tony. Tony not only sings the songs on this album, but he wrote some of them, and they're wonderful. In fact, Tony wrote my favorite song on the album, I Know You're A Fish, which to my knowledge is the only work by any songwriter in history - and I include Cole Porter in that statement - to tackle the sensitive issue of flushing a fish down a toilet. Tony also wrote, with his mom, Adolescing, which contains two lines that perfectly sum up the entire complex sociobiological process: "My parents used to be so smart./
Now they are just dumb old farts."
There's also a deeply moving high-tech blues song called Got My Modem Working, a refreshingly threatening version of the Barney song, and much more. Tony sings these songs with enthusiasm and elan. (Actually, I'm not sure what "elan" is. But I'm sure Tony has it.) This is obviously a great album for kids. But it's also a great album for grownups who want to hold on to - or get back - one of the most precious gifts that nature gives us: immaturity. Buy it. Play it. Sing along with it. And above all, don't forget to fart. (Dave Barry)